Miss Kim

Yesterday was OT and ST. I always love when they come. Actually it was the boys first "official" speech therapy session. I have to say that I love our therapist. She has so much energy and is very on top of the boys. Ian slept through the session, but he isnt the one who we are worried about. Ollie was the first to interact with Miss Kim. And boy did he give her a hard time. He doesnt want to do what anyone wants him to do unless its his idea. So it was a little rough. Then she took on Spencer. I have to say that I was very surprised that he responded so well to her. I think he might have a crush. He loved when she read to him, which is great because he doesnt do so well when DH and I read to him. He listened to direction!!!! I couldnt believe my ears when she would tell him to do something and he would do it. Too bad she cant move in with us. After a very positive session with Spence she went back to Ollie for some one on one time. He did better,he had to call her bluff the first time. I think he might have a crush on her as well.



I spoke to her about what happened with the Neo and she basically said that she didnt agree with her and thought that the boys are making progress, she had done an eval on them in April of this year and they had improved since. I was so thrilled to hear that. She also takes her kids to the same pediatrician who we both rave about and encouraged me to talk to her about the awful appointment with the Neo. I think I might have a crush on Miss Kim to! :)



Wednesday is their first Synagis injection. I have mixed feelings about it but I know that its the best thing if we want to protect the boys. I just hate that they feel crummy afterwards. At least DH will be home for the rest of the week so we can sleep in shifts if need be. Oh speaking of sleep the boys have decided that 4:30am is now their "normal" wake up time. That's just killing me. Is this normal? Are they teething? I hope it stops soon.



Oh and to Juliann and Eva you two were so great to offer me comfort and understanding, I thank you. I'm glad to know that there are people out there that understand and will extend a kind word and helping hand. This preemie stuff isnt always easy but we will somehow get through it together. Thanks ladies!!!!

Sucky day

Today the boys saw their Neonatologist. She and I have had problems in the past and today for whatever reason she seemed to make things worse. I was not confrontational at all and I wasnt even being defensive. We were all there to go over the results of the neurodevelopmental testing that the boys had done a few weeks back. The first thing she asked was did DH and I have any concerns. We said "no". Which I think started things off in the wrong direction. Yes we know the boys are behind, and some more than the others. Yes we are concerned about it. BUT that is why the boys are getting speech therapy and two are receiving occupational therapy. Duh, like we dont know that they are delayed!!! Come on. So she said "Well you should be concerned on their slow development". Fine we said that we were but those issues were being addressed already with their therapists. So she goes over each boy and their weaknesses. Ian seems to be on target for his actual age of 19 months. The only thing with him is he is a little delayed with speech. Oliver, who she said that the psychologist stated in her report was the one who we were the most worried about, is behind in all areas but better than his brother Spencer. He has a very definite speech delay. The boy just started talking again after he began to walk in October. He has issues with listening to direction. Blah, blah, blah. Then it came time for Spencer. The problem child, or the one we dont think has ANY problems (please note the sarcasm). Spence definetly has a speech delay but not as bad as the other two. He says, Mom, Dad, Bottle, kitty cat, dog, ball, up, out, and every once in a while says milk. He is just quiet and shy when he doesnt know the person who is testing him. He doesnt listen to direction. And he is wild. Crazy kind of wild. He laughs all the time. So we got chewed out because we are worried about the wrong kid. It pisses me off.

The next thing she took issue with was that the boys are getting Synagis again this year. "Oh if I were the medical director of your insurance I would never have allowed it" Dr. Not so Nice said. "They dont have any more lung or heart issues so they are fine". Whatever. Man I didnt even ask to get the Synagis and was very surprised that we got approved. Maybe the Medical Director for Healthlink realizes that if the boys got RSV then the hospital stay would cost more than all the damn shots combined for all the boys for the year!!! Jeez.

The last thing that she busted my balls about was that I havent taken the boys to a playgroup or a Mother's Day out. I dont even know what the f*&k a mother's day out program is. I dont know anyone who has kids that are the same or close to the boys age. "oh their speech will take off if you get out of the house more" Fine whatever. Just keep piling on the blame for the speech off on me. " you need to read to them more" Hey Dr. Unrealistic have you ever tried to read a book to three little hooligans?? DH and I both read books to the boys all the time but we cant do it with all of them at the same time. One is trying to grab the book and turn the pages, the other one is trying to eat the pages, and the last one just wants to get away from his brothers so he starts crying and then biting his brothers who are way too close for his comfort. Sheesh!! And then getting them all out of the house when I am by myself is impossible and will not happen. I can get them all into the car but getting them out and then having to leave one behind while I run in and drop the other two off is not something that I want to do. It is almost impossible.

I just want to scream!!! I thought I was doing a great job with the boys. They are all healthy. No physical problems from prematurity just delays. That's something that I dont think I can control or manipulate to make it better. I provide them with every opportunity to excel and catch up to their peers. I dare anyone to find a toy in the playroom that isnt a developmental tool. Give me a break. I just dont think I can win with that lady. I thought our problems that we had in the NICU were all but forgotten. I guess I was wrong.

Sleep or lack there of.

I cant believe it but the boys are 19 months old. Time has really flown by. They are doing ok, all have colds. DH and I both had it to. I cant wait for it to be over so we can all get an uninterupted night of sleep. The sleep thing for me is a big deal. I have trouble anyway getting to sleep and staying asleep so I have some meds that help me off to sleepyland. So imagine having to get up 2-3 times during the night with different boys and then trying to go back to sleep after being awake for at least an hour or more. It just plain sucks. Last night I did get a full night of sleep. My mood was vastly improved over the last few days. I guess the saying "if Mom aint happy nobody is happy" is very true.

Today DH, the boys and I went to an early Thanksgiving dinner. Our good friend had her celebration early because not all her family could get together on Thanksgiving. It was wonderful. The boys had a blast. I drank 2, yes you read that right, TWO glasses of wine and was it good. I wanted more but knew that I wouldnt be able to keep my eyes open long enough to see the boys off to bed at 8pm.

Boys are finally all asleep eventhough they went down at 8 and its a little before 10pm now. Spence decided that his little cat nap on the way home was enough to keep him going. I broke down and pulled him out of bed and snuggled him into submission and he is now sleeping in his crib. Hopefully he stays asleep all night.

Random Act of Kindness

Last night I was at the grocery store with a cart full of food. I got in line and waited. When it was my turn I started throwing things onto the belt and this older lady got in line behind me. She asked if she could help me get things out of the top of the cart. She just started doing it and explained to me that she hates having to get stuff out of the top of the cart after unloading the basket! Its was so nice, and she was so sweet. I thanked her repeatedly and told her she made my day by being nice.

Then I went to the Super Dooper Walmart. No one, not even the checker, said a word to me. So when the question of "Did the cashier greet you today" came up on the screen before I paid with my debit card I almost jammed my finger by pushing "NO!". So much for nice people.

Happy Halloween

Monkey Man Spencer

Mighty Dragon Ian

Scallywag Ollie

The gang

Wish

My Halloween wish has come true. I am not really into Christmas so instead of a Christmas wish here was my Halloween wish. My wish was that Oliver would be walking for trick or treating. I told him at the beginning of the month that if he didnt walk then there might be trouble! I am happy to report that he is a walking fool!!! He doesnt like his costume much but I think he looks adorable. I will post a pic of all the boys soon. Ian doesnt care one way or another about his costume but he likes the fact that there is velcro and he can pull it apart. Spencer actually liked his costume and wore it around the house during our trial run the other night. I think he was a little unhappy when it came off but he gets a chance to wear it tonight and again tomorrow. The town where Great Grandma lives has trick or treating the night before Halloween, which is a little strange, but it works for us. Tomorrow night we are going to Grandma's house and possibly our neighbors houses. We dont get many trick or treaters in my neighborhood so I havent bought any candy. I have a few things we can give out. Now since I said all this I bet we will have an onslaught of trick or treaters. Plus tomorrow during the day its supposed to be unseasonably warm and into the 80's. Which is crazy!! But thankfully its not a full moon!!

Synagis

Amazingly the boys got approved for Synagis again this year!! I am actually kinda shocked about it. I was really thinking that they wouldnt qualify. Even our ped said that she didnt think they would qualify but it was worth a try. She just called me and said that this deserved a personal call from her. She is so great! I like her (before the Synagis approval) and love the way she handles the boys and takes care of DH and me.

After I called DH I called our nurse, Beverly, who came out to give the shots last year. A few weeks ago I called her and told her that I didnt think that the boys would qualify and said that I was sad that we wouldnt see each other. Funny how things turn out. She was shocked as well with the approval and very pleased that they will be protected. We talked about logistics of how we are going to separate them and keep them from rebelling against her and me. This year will be completely different since they are very mobile and will know whats going on. What I am afraid of the most is that they will cry whenever they see her come in the door! Poor Beverly. :)

I had planned to keep them on house arrest again this winter and use the same precautions as last year, much to the dismay of the MIL. I will never understand why its such a big deal to wash her hands after she comes into the house. Its just proper hygienic practice. Sheesh! I do plan on taking them to see Santa this year so I guess we will have to go and be the first in line on a slow day. At least she will be happy about that. Like I care......

Kobe Beef

Yes I am still alive. Last week was nuts. Boys waking up at all hours of the night and lots of broken sleep. I think I took a nap everyday last week. Maybe I was being punished for leaving them? Maybe its teething? Maybe a growth spurt? Whatever the case may be it was not fun.



I had a great time in Chicago. Shopped all day Saturday and ate at the Cheesecake Factory. I got my first taste of Kobe beef. It was so yummy. I want more. And of course had cheesecake. That was yummy to. I want more.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, you're only a day away.....

Today was the boys 18 month check up. Of course I was worried as always about Ollie being so small. He weighs 20 pounds. He is 2 inches shorter than Ian, and one inch shorter than Spence. Ian weighs 24 1/2 pounds, and Spencer is 22 1/2. Its not that big of a weight difference but the other two are just built differently. More stocky I suppose. Ollie is just a little guy with a big voice. I voiced my concerns about his weight and the ped. told me that since he grew two inches since the visit in July that I shouldnt be concerned with his weight at all. I am reassured but still want my littlest guy to get big and fit into the winter clothes that I bought!! I am afraid that the other two will outgrow them before he even fits in them!! :) Although there is nothing cuter than seeing a baby in big clothes. Tonight I put the boys in footy pjs because its getting quite chilly here. Ian and Spence fit nicely but Ollie's feet were way too small and the feet of the pjs looked life elf shoes. Its was so darn cute. I wish I would have taken a pic. Damn!!

Tomorrow I am off to Chicago. I cant wait. Ok, I feel kinda bad leaving but I know that its the best thing for me so I can retain some sort of sanity. A friend asked me today if I liked being a stay at home Mom more now that the boys are bigger, and I told her that I didnt like it. I know its the best for the boys but I would love to get out of the house more and deal with adults. I have trouble holding adult conversations anymore. The only word that I seem to be able to say is "NO!!!" I guess every Mom goes through this. As I said in a previous post I need my space sometimes (well most times) and having three 18 month olds doesnt allow that at all. Yes I am complaining. Sorry. Hopefully I come back from my little trip with a better attitude.

Its that time again!

Ian enjoying his first Thin Mint Girl Scout cookie. Mmmmmm.

Ollie enjoying his first Thin Mint Girl Scout cookie. Yummy!!

Spencer wanting no part in any kind of cookie. But looking cute anyway.

Happy 18 month birthday!!!

Today the boys are exactly 18 months old. Wow has the time flown by. Last year I couldnt even imagine the boys all walking and feeding themselves. But they are. I can only imagine what is coming in the future.


Ollie is tooling around the livingroom fairly frequently. He falls a lot but as I recall not so long ago his two brothers did the same thing. Spence has a molar that is slowwwwly breaking through the gum line. I wish that tooth would just erupt and then he can have some peace. He is quite the cranky little bugger lately. Ian is keeping very busy being helpful and playing in the dog's water bowls. I have decorated the house for Halloween. The boys seem to really like the ghost that is hanging in the window and the glowing spider web. I love Halloween so decorating has been really fun for me. I have lights going up and down the stairwell and lights strung around the basement. Its all very spooky!!

Friday I am going to visit a friend in Chicago for the weekend. I need a break from everyone and of course need to have a little retail therapy. I hear we are going out for margaritas on Friday night. Sounds heavenly to me. Like back in April, I think the best part of my trip will be the 4 hour drive alone. I am such a non touchy feely person and need my personal space but with three little boys personal space is
nonexistent. That has been one of the hardest things for me. I hate being pulled on and my clothing tugged at. Drives me crazy!! So this weekend comes as a welcome relief to me.

A tired boy and his blankey

Ollie

Silly Mommy

I am sure that's exactly what Ollie was thinking this morning as I was wiping him off after breakfast. I am a little emotional this morning and was telling all the boys that I loved them more than they would ever know while they were enjoying their first cinnamon rolls ever! They liked them. Anyway I was telling Ollie how proud I was of him for starting to walk and that he was talking again. As I was cleaning the icing off his chin he said, "Momma", and I just started crying. I began telling him I thought at one point in the NICU that I didnt think he was going to make it. Of course that made me cry harder. He put his hand on my cheek and sort of wiped away my tears and gave me that cute little Ollie smile.

This may sound crazy but I always worry that all the boys will have some memory of what happened in the NICU and be tramatized. I know that I am. I will never forget seeing them for the first time all hooked up to machines and just clinging on to life. So when little milestones are reached, eventhough they may be late for the age, I thank my lucky stars that everyone made it out alive. I know things could have turned out much worse.

Drum roll please...........

Oliver is finally walking!!!!! It's taken him 17 months to get here and by God he is going to be cautious and do it slowly. He is so matter of fact about all of it. He doesnt think its as big deal a deal as DH and I do. He just goes about his business and thats it! That is exactly how Ollie is, nothing is really a big deal unless a brother is stealing food or a cup from him. He is finally talking again. He has gone pretty silent in the last 4 months except for crying, grunting, and laughing. I was worried at first but was told by a development therapist that often times when kids start crawling and getting ready to walk that their brains concentrate on those things and language goes out the window. I am truly happy thats the case! It was kinda strange because as soon as he started taking steps on his own he started saying "Momma" again. It was so automatic.

Spencer has mastered the walking thing. He still does the drunken sailor walk but its less and less. I quite enjoy watching him walk all crazy. He has a really good sense of humor and is the first kid to laugh out loud at something funny. He also has the best laugh.

Ian is master of the basement and all the toys. Especially the slide. He is the King of the slide. He can go down frontwards and now just to show off he can slide down on his belly and feet first. He likes to show off his new skill to anyone who will watch. And he expects clapping and congratulations every time. He is such a show off. There had to be one in the bunch.

I have finally picked out their costumes for Halloween. I cant tell you what they are going to be because its a secret but I can tell you that they look every cute! There is no theme, but the costumes do match their personalities quite well.

A very good question

Karen asked, "Arent you worried that your inlaws might read your blog?" Thats a very good question. It's taken me all week to think about it. Well not exactly all week, the dudes are sick with a cold and that has taken up most of my week. But I digress, I am slightly worried but not really. Let me explain further. The MIL is not so great on the computer, in fact she has gone through 3 in the last 2 years. Poor DH has to try to fix what she has done and usually finds that its screwed up beyond repair and she buys a new one. Same with printers, I think she has gone through 4 in the last 2 years. We got one of her castoffs that didnt "work" but it works fine here. Hmmm I wonder why?

There is a possiblity that I will leave the blog up on my computer one day but they wouldnt dare touch my computer. For reasons that I stated above, and that edict was not handed down from me but comes from DH. He doesnt need me bitchin about my computer not working. Plus the boys should keep them so busy while they are here that they shouldnt have time to screw around online.

Also, I am a huge risk taker. Remember I had the RE transfer three perfect 8 cell embryos. Ah they all wont take I thought, but here I sit with three 17 month olds. So I laugh in the face of fear. Yeah right! :)

So am I really worried? Not really. But thanks for asking!

1000 hits

Ian enjoying dinner.

I just noticed that my blog has received over a 1,000 hits. Thats kinda cool. I wonder who is reading this? Hopefully not the inlaws!

So who are you people? Come out of the shadows and stop lurking! I would love to know how you found my blog. Please, please, please tell me!!! Or is there just one person who keeps coming back repeatedly all day?? Hmmmmm.

Whatever the case is, thanks for stopping by.

Payback

So I did it. I screwed with the inlaws. Instead of turning off the tv when they were here yesterday, I tuned it to an alternative music channel where the F word is used frequently in song. They didnt say anything and didnt change the channel. The boys love the music and I was upstairs doing other things so I didnt care. Finally after dinner the MIL asked which channel the boys liked and I said 293. I left it at that. Within seconds the tv was blasting baby friendly programing. I dont think they are going to say much more about the whole tv thing. Well if they know what's good for them.

Today they were back over and brought over a toy that I had passed up at a garage sale a few months ago. She bought it for her house. They started bringing it down the stairs and I said "NO! NO! NO!" That thing makes too much noise and it has tons of plastic blocks that go with it and we already have too many as it is. She looked at me dumbfounded and said, "well I dont want it at my house it makes too much noise and has too many parts." To which I replied, "I didnt want it at the garage sale and stated that so take it back out to your van." The FIL did and when he was outside she said that she was going to take it to Great Grandma's house. Poor GGM.

On a different note, Spencer is in full walking mode. He is doing really well. I cant believe how fast he is moving. Everyone was in a good mood today, which was kinda strange for this house. There is usually one rotten egg in the bunch, but not today! We'll see how tomorrow goes.

If it ain't one its the other.

Today while the inlaws were over and I was conventienly "cleaning" the upstairs bathroom, DH was downstairs in the baby dungeon with his parents. They arent usually in the room very long together so I thought it was nice that I wasnt there. Well thank God that I wasnt. DH's Dad thought he would spew some pearls of wisdom to DH. He had just happened to be reading Time magazine and read that the American Pediatric Association says that children should not be exposed to or watch television until they reach age 2. Of course we have heard this from our pediatrician, who also snickered and said that most of the peds that are apart of the APA have nannies and dont have multiples, so in her words "you gotta do what you gotta do to keep them happy". I love that woman. But I take offense to him bringing it up. First I feel like its an attack on our parenting style. He never really had time when DH was a toddler because he was too busy going to graduate school. And for that matter so was the MIL. DH grew up with babysitters who cooked and cleaned the home. He couldnt join t-ball because they both had classes on the nights of practice and on game day. They both have no idea what its like to be a SAHM or Dad and werent really around much because they were pursuing their own thing. So I take offense to this. I gave up my "other" life to devote myself to these little hooligans that roam freely in my house. Yeah I know I am being kinda critical but it seems like an attack.

I am glad that I wasnt down there or I would have said something like this to the FIL "Well I dont see YOU down on the floor engaging the boys in any kind of play." He just sits there while everyone else is changing diapers or consoling a crying hooligan. He never tries to play with them but is always questioning what I am doing. For instance, last week before yoga class I gave the boys some ibuprofen because their molars are slowwwwwly breaking through. They change into hideous beasts if not given the wonderful make everything better drug, ibuprofen. He wanted to know why I was giving it to them and wasnt I afraid that they were going to become immune to the drug?? I didnt even know how to answer that one without laughing hysterically outloud and asking him if he was stupid. Come on, give me a break. If my kid is in pain and I can make it better so they can sleep through most of the night, dont you think I would give it to him??

The other thing today was that they brought over an article for our local big city paper about making homemade babyfood. Fine, great, whatever. I made all most all of the boys food when they were eating babyfood cause its cheaper and I could make it taste and smell better than that Gerber crap. The MIL went on and on about the recipes in the article, which we have outgrown. I polietly told her that DH had sent me the article days ago and it was more about how to make it and since we are done with that then thanks but no thanks for the article. Always wanting to be right she said "WEL there are recipes that you might not have seen" Ok I will get right on it and puree some foods for the boys who can already self feed. She just doesnt get it. I dont think she ever will.

As for the FIL, well he can just bite my big fat booty!!! How come all of a sudden he is interested in his grandkids? But wont do anything with them. He will know become known as the armchair grandfather.

The tv is on most of the day. Not always on baby type programing, sometimes shows I want to watch (like the news, etc.), and a lot of the time we listen to music channels on the tv. And I know how far I can push the boys until they start to freak out and need some sort of baby stimulation and then I change the channel to the Teletubbies or put in a movie. They dont just sit there like Zombies all day.

So thats it I am pissed off once again with my inlaws and they are coming over to "help" tomorrow night because DH has school. Please give me the strength to not say anything overly sarcastic. I am going to turn the tv off right before they arrive and see how long it takes them to turn it on. In fact I will hit the stop watch the second they drive up the driveway. Bastards. Why cant they just leave us alone and find someone else to bother.

Speaking of parents, my Mom and I dont have the best relationship in fact at the moment we arent speaking but not sure exactly why. She knows that the hooligans were born because my sister told her but thats about it. The boys have another blog that was started when they were in the NICU and I know that she still checks it and sees pictures. I miss her. My side of the family is very dysfunctional and its hard to explain. So I might call her tonight. Hopefully she will take my call and we can get back to being Mom and daughter again.

New pics

Pre invasion.

Post invasion.

Spencer loves his new basement!! That boy wont sit still for anything. Oh and by the way, he is starting to walk. Lord please watch over me. Me, not Spence, I need all the help I can get!

Ollie loving his new steps and baby gate.

Ian, aka Godzilla, trying to make a break for it through the kitty door into the forbidden room, aka the laundry room. I know its a dragon costume but he was walking around all day knocking things over and I remembered that I had this costume. I will have to get some video of him as Godzilla. Its very funny. I can hear the Godzilla scream as I write this.

Yu Shan looking down into her new kitty play room.

I cant believe that I am doing this to myself

I decided that since the pain in my pelvic areas has returned and I have not had a period in 8 months (by choice) that it was time to take some inactive pills and let mother nature take her course. Damn, I forgot how painful this period thing can be. Being a chick with endometriosis sucks, plain and simple. IT SUCKS!!! Ok enough whinning and shouting.

We are completely moved into the basement!!! The boys love it down there. They have lots of new toys and plenty of room for them to do their own thing without being on top of one another like they were in the living room. I am happy that its done and can see that its good for everyone in the house. The fur babies love it to. There was a problem with the kitty faction for awhile because we moved the litter boxes and made them go through another pet door to get to them. They were leaving some presents where their boxes used to be. Then the carpet and the furniture came. Then the kitties were happy. Now they have lots of new places to sleep. I think they know a good thing when they see one. The dogs love all the room to run around and play in as well. I have some pics of the basement but the camera is down there and I am not going up those steps again tonight!! I will post some soon. Call me lazy, whatever, I am tired and cranky. :{