Veteran

Ok so the hot flashes were ignored, the mood swings ignored, the pain, however was noted and it was decided by the doc that its my horrible evil endometriosis rearing its ugly head again. I am kinda pissed off, like that's anything new, that he didnt listen and immediately decided that it was endo related. Endo doesnt cause hot flashes and mood swings,but it does produce pain that wont go away. Easy diagnosis. Whatever. I am going back to who I should have gone to in the first place. By dear old friend who diagnosed me . Well I havent called yet but I will tomorrow and see what she says. There has got to be another treatment for endo other than the dreaded Lupron. I have had enough of Lupron. I hate Lupron. For those of you who dont know what it is it makes you go into menopause and it sucks!! Well actually it would make me feel better but I have taken it so many times that I am afraid of bone loss. Seriously. The doc asked me to give him a reason for not wanting Lupron so he could record it in my chart, and I said "cause it sucks!" and he wrote that down and chuckled. He's a good guy and I know him pretty well, but he didnt really seem to listen to me. He wants a pelvic u/s and that cant happen for 2 weeks so I here I sit in pain. Fine, I will wait.


The only real option if its truly endo related is a hysterectomy. Which is fine by me but I dont want to do a laparotomy. Thats the kind of cut one gets when they have a c section. I would do it tomorrow if they would do it laparoscopically. Thats where they make small incisions in your belly and take things out that way. Less recovery time and doesnt hurt as much. Laparotomy takes 8 weeks to recover from and is very painful. I dont really have the luxury to be out 8 weeks. I have no idea how things would work with dealing with the boys. And the other thing is that the MIL would be here making me nuts everyday and that is something that I cant handle. Seriously. I think that would make things worse. I have dealt with endo my whole life. Actually had the dx since 1997 and have had many surgeries, including both that I mentioned above, several times. Well more times that I would like to discuss here. Lets just say that I am veteran of pelvic surgery. Which sucks to!



On another note, the boys are doing fine. Ian is walking like Frankenstein all over the livingroom. Spencer is standing on his own in the middle of the room and is pretty excited about it. Ollie is crusing along the furniture watching the other two as they make mistakes so he can avoid them. They had their 15 month check up a few weeks ago and Ian weighed 22 1/2 pounds, Spencer weighed 20 1/2 pounds, and Oliver was 18 1/2 pounds.

We also stopped by the NICU today and to say hi to the nurses. It was a little over a year ago that Ollie was discharged. DH and I commerated the day last week. Its hard to believe that they are now 15 months old.

And finally, today is the anniversary of my Dad's passing in 2001. So Dad if you are reading this I miss you and I wish you could meet your grandsons!! Ian looks just like you, eventhough thats not really possible. :) I wish we could have had a better relationship while you were here. I regret not being a better daughter. I hope you know that I talk to you everyday and think of you all the time. I tell the boys about their grandpa that they will never meet. I miss you! Ok I am crying now.