Miss Kim

Yesterday was OT and ST. I always love when they come. Actually it was the boys first "official" speech therapy session. I have to say that I love our therapist. She has so much energy and is very on top of the boys. Ian slept through the session, but he isnt the one who we are worried about. Ollie was the first to interact with Miss Kim. And boy did he give her a hard time. He doesnt want to do what anyone wants him to do unless its his idea. So it was a little rough. Then she took on Spencer. I have to say that I was very surprised that he responded so well to her. I think he might have a crush. He loved when she read to him, which is great because he doesnt do so well when DH and I read to him. He listened to direction!!!! I couldnt believe my ears when she would tell him to do something and he would do it. Too bad she cant move in with us. After a very positive session with Spence she went back to Ollie for some one on one time. He did better,he had to call her bluff the first time. I think he might have a crush on her as well.



I spoke to her about what happened with the Neo and she basically said that she didnt agree with her and thought that the boys are making progress, she had done an eval on them in April of this year and they had improved since. I was so thrilled to hear that. She also takes her kids to the same pediatrician who we both rave about and encouraged me to talk to her about the awful appointment with the Neo. I think I might have a crush on Miss Kim to! :)



Wednesday is their first Synagis injection. I have mixed feelings about it but I know that its the best thing if we want to protect the boys. I just hate that they feel crummy afterwards. At least DH will be home for the rest of the week so we can sleep in shifts if need be. Oh speaking of sleep the boys have decided that 4:30am is now their "normal" wake up time. That's just killing me. Is this normal? Are they teething? I hope it stops soon.



Oh and to Juliann and Eva you two were so great to offer me comfort and understanding, I thank you. I'm glad to know that there are people out there that understand and will extend a kind word and helping hand. This preemie stuff isnt always easy but we will somehow get through it together. Thanks ladies!!!!

Sucky day

Today the boys saw their Neonatologist. She and I have had problems in the past and today for whatever reason she seemed to make things worse. I was not confrontational at all and I wasnt even being defensive. We were all there to go over the results of the neurodevelopmental testing that the boys had done a few weeks back. The first thing she asked was did DH and I have any concerns. We said "no". Which I think started things off in the wrong direction. Yes we know the boys are behind, and some more than the others. Yes we are concerned about it. BUT that is why the boys are getting speech therapy and two are receiving occupational therapy. Duh, like we dont know that they are delayed!!! Come on. So she said "Well you should be concerned on their slow development". Fine we said that we were but those issues were being addressed already with their therapists. So she goes over each boy and their weaknesses. Ian seems to be on target for his actual age of 19 months. The only thing with him is he is a little delayed with speech. Oliver, who she said that the psychologist stated in her report was the one who we were the most worried about, is behind in all areas but better than his brother Spencer. He has a very definite speech delay. The boy just started talking again after he began to walk in October. He has issues with listening to direction. Blah, blah, blah. Then it came time for Spencer. The problem child, or the one we dont think has ANY problems (please note the sarcasm). Spence definetly has a speech delay but not as bad as the other two. He says, Mom, Dad, Bottle, kitty cat, dog, ball, up, out, and every once in a while says milk. He is just quiet and shy when he doesnt know the person who is testing him. He doesnt listen to direction. And he is wild. Crazy kind of wild. He laughs all the time. So we got chewed out because we are worried about the wrong kid. It pisses me off.

The next thing she took issue with was that the boys are getting Synagis again this year. "Oh if I were the medical director of your insurance I would never have allowed it" Dr. Not so Nice said. "They dont have any more lung or heart issues so they are fine". Whatever. Man I didnt even ask to get the Synagis and was very surprised that we got approved. Maybe the Medical Director for Healthlink realizes that if the boys got RSV then the hospital stay would cost more than all the damn shots combined for all the boys for the year!!! Jeez.

The last thing that she busted my balls about was that I havent taken the boys to a playgroup or a Mother's Day out. I dont even know what the f*&k a mother's day out program is. I dont know anyone who has kids that are the same or close to the boys age. "oh their speech will take off if you get out of the house more" Fine whatever. Just keep piling on the blame for the speech off on me. " you need to read to them more" Hey Dr. Unrealistic have you ever tried to read a book to three little hooligans?? DH and I both read books to the boys all the time but we cant do it with all of them at the same time. One is trying to grab the book and turn the pages, the other one is trying to eat the pages, and the last one just wants to get away from his brothers so he starts crying and then biting his brothers who are way too close for his comfort. Sheesh!! And then getting them all out of the house when I am by myself is impossible and will not happen. I can get them all into the car but getting them out and then having to leave one behind while I run in and drop the other two off is not something that I want to do. It is almost impossible.

I just want to scream!!! I thought I was doing a great job with the boys. They are all healthy. No physical problems from prematurity just delays. That's something that I dont think I can control or manipulate to make it better. I provide them with every opportunity to excel and catch up to their peers. I dare anyone to find a toy in the playroom that isnt a developmental tool. Give me a break. I just dont think I can win with that lady. I thought our problems that we had in the NICU were all but forgotten. I guess I was wrong.

Sleep or lack there of.

I cant believe it but the boys are 19 months old. Time has really flown by. They are doing ok, all have colds. DH and I both had it to. I cant wait for it to be over so we can all get an uninterupted night of sleep. The sleep thing for me is a big deal. I have trouble anyway getting to sleep and staying asleep so I have some meds that help me off to sleepyland. So imagine having to get up 2-3 times during the night with different boys and then trying to go back to sleep after being awake for at least an hour or more. It just plain sucks. Last night I did get a full night of sleep. My mood was vastly improved over the last few days. I guess the saying "if Mom aint happy nobody is happy" is very true.

Today DH, the boys and I went to an early Thanksgiving dinner. Our good friend had her celebration early because not all her family could get together on Thanksgiving. It was wonderful. The boys had a blast. I drank 2, yes you read that right, TWO glasses of wine and was it good. I wanted more but knew that I wouldnt be able to keep my eyes open long enough to see the boys off to bed at 8pm.

Boys are finally all asleep eventhough they went down at 8 and its a little before 10pm now. Spence decided that his little cat nap on the way home was enough to keep him going. I broke down and pulled him out of bed and snuggled him into submission and he is now sleeping in his crib. Hopefully he stays asleep all night.

Random Act of Kindness

Last night I was at the grocery store with a cart full of food. I got in line and waited. When it was my turn I started throwing things onto the belt and this older lady got in line behind me. She asked if she could help me get things out of the top of the cart. She just started doing it and explained to me that she hates having to get stuff out of the top of the cart after unloading the basket! Its was so nice, and she was so sweet. I thanked her repeatedly and told her she made my day by being nice.

Then I went to the Super Dooper Walmart. No one, not even the checker, said a word to me. So when the question of "Did the cashier greet you today" came up on the screen before I paid with my debit card I almost jammed my finger by pushing "NO!". So much for nice people.