My life with triplet boys that were born via donor eggs.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
The day that I was implanted with my boys the RE had a very frank discussion about whether to implant all three of the embryos or just two. I wanted all three, DH wanted all three, RE wanted two. It came down to our descision. We choose all three. Why? Well I have said this many times before, we were out of money, I was definetly out of patience, and we were afraid that the remaining embie would not thaw correctly and we would be out of luck. The RE did what we asked and we knew that the likelyhood of having all three was a possibility but not likely. How wrong were we?!! To be honest I wasnt exactly thrilled when all three showed heartbeats. I was worried about me. How could I do this? What the hell was going to happen to me? Then not long after I began to realize that it wasnt about me anymore, it was about them. I wasnt that important anymore. Well I was, of course the hostess to the party of three, but they would be the stars of future episodes of my life. And now I know that I am not the center of the my universe anymore. I dont think about my needs as much. When I go out shopping I am always buying things for them and when I look at something for me I hesitate and debate whether I really need it. I sometimes skip lunch because I am too tired and want to make sure the boys get fed and then take a nap and then fall on the couch in exhaustion only to get right back up because someone isnt sleeping and I keep going. Using the bathroom is no longer a private affair, I think you know what I mean. Then there are the things that people do that make me want to cry. In a good way. Its because she thought of me, as me and not the Mom of triplets. I almost cried when a friend showed up out of the blue on Friday. She had asked the day before if I could go to lunch with her and some other friends but I didnt have a sitter so she did the next best thing she brought me lunch. Someone thought of me!!! It was such a nice thing to do. I wolfed it down cause it was feeding time for the boys but it was the best nachos bellegrande that I have ever had. Thanks for thinking of me. It made me realize that I am still somewhere in here and that I do have a life and friends who care and I am not just the mother of triplets.